If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
