I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
