everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
