hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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