That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
