Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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