why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
