I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
