i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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