I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
