So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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