Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
