im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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