Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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