is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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