So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
