so that wasnt chicken after all
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
