So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
