Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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