I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When did angry sex become our thing?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
