Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
