so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
