If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
