ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
