So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
