I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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