he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize