I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
