i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
