I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
