Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize