...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
