not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
babies were throwing up all over the place
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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