I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we're making bets on your personal life
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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