On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize