I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
