My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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