her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
