I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
