She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
