I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
tell me about the fingering
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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