yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize