The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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