What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
