I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
