so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
