Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
