Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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