you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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