I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
