I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
