I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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