I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
NoShamevember. You game?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
