Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
be right there i have to get my cape
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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