i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I will be naked everywhere
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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