they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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