we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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