So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
