apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am spending my child support on dildos
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
