found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
